If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize