so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
