those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
