ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
