Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
