he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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