He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
