But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
