While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
