those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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