my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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