Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
