I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
