I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you would pick up someone in the library
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let's get the cat blown out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
