I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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