worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
