I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
