i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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