it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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