if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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