I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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