just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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