Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
