Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
