Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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