Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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