I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
