And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A+ Viking dick
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
