OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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