reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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