One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
