I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
