my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
