Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
