so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
