you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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