I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
