Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
