Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
