She's JV to your varsity
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
