i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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