So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
