why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
