Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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