Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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