You're so nebulous sometimes
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
