How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
