what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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