You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
