he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
