I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
