I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You made out with two different species that night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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