she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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