I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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