I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
