When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize