I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
