Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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