He kissed a someone with a penis
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
