We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize